28. Spasm: The Invisible Puppeteer’s Tricks (3): While I am Lying in Bed

1998-10-tema-canoe

28.1     Shallow Canoe  

After prolonged sitting,
my toes become firmly gripped,
feet, tightly bound and cold;
legs, pricked by warm thorns;
thighs, sitting on warm coarse sand;
buttocks, drilled with screws,
forcing me to lie down in bed.

The Invisible Puppeteer
pulls my toes up,
curling them forward and backward;
lifts my feet up and down,
twisting them left and right;
bends my knees up,
and then drops them abruptly.
He lifts my head up from the neck
and drops it back onto the pillow—
the neck and shoulders stiffen.

Suddenly,
he pulls my head and toes up simultaneously,
curving my whole body up tensely,BirchBarkCanoe
making it into a shallow canoe.
Nerves keelhauled:
a flash of tight, cutting pain
travelling like lightning,
from neck to toes,
along the whole spine.

A few quick jerks—
for just a few seconds .
Then he loosens the pull—
the body relaxes
through my legs;
my feet uncurl;
my right foot is quiet.

Is the Invisible Puppeteer trying
to make a Pinocchio of me?
Or is he helping me
to loosen up my tense nerves?

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28.2   Rope Unwinding Itself

The invisible puppeteer dislikes me
sleeping on my right side,
when my right leg is bent
underneath a memory foam cushion
weighed down by my left leg.

He pulls the leg under the cushion,
releasing it from stiffness.
He jerks the leg on the cushion,
straightening it.

He twitches my body tenderly,
re-positioning my spine.

Ever so gently,
he aligns my neck and my spine;
adjusts my shoulders,
loosening them up.Yarn_hank_and_ball

My whole body relaxes,
uncurling
like a coil of rope
slowly unwinding itself.

Is the Invisible Puppeteer trying
to loosen up my knotted nerves,
helping my body to self-regulate?

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The Invisible Puppeteer’s useful tricks.


A Tema-Canoe at  Anima Nipissing Lake – Temagami, Ontario, Canada.
By Robertbody at English Wikipedia. CC By 3.0 Unpoprted License. via-
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Canoes#/media/File:1998-10-tema-canoe.jpg

A Birch Bark Canoe. By Zeljko at Croatian Wikipedia. In public domain. via-   https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Birch_bark_canoes#/media/File:BirchBarkCanoe.jpg

A Yarn Hank and Yarn Ball. By Willow W.  CC BY 3.0 Unported License. via- https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Wool_yarn#/media/File:Yarn_hank_and_ball.png


 

20. Chronic Neuropathic Pain Flare-Up (1): Guerrilla Attacks

Kardo_rinktine_02

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Chronic neuropathic pain attacks like guerrilla fighters.
They strike at my feet viciously
till they burn with pulsating pain.
Then they attack the calves, thighs and buttocks
in brief, rapid fire.413px-Royal_Marines_conducting_FIBUA_training_at_Copehill_Down._MOD_45148950
Invisible and inaudible crackling.

My lower body from waist down to toes now sits on burning sites.

They suddenly appear along my spine, raiding, ambushing, sabotaging,
attacking with hand grenades,
location by location,
moment to moment,
until the whole spine is bombarded.

I can hardly sit upright
or lean against
even the softest memory foam.
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Soviet_guerilla

Sometimes,
they assault my shoulder blades,
plunging bayonets deep underneath,
sending ripples of burning, stabbing pain
all across my upper back,
with invisible bleeding.

Realistic pain:
Impossible for me to lie on my back.

Frequent but unpredictable, random attacks
with machine gun firing.800px-thumbnail
Every nerve in my body is their target.
Every part of my body is their battlefield.
Invisible and inaudible crackling.

Aggravated pain all over my body —
from toes to shoulders,
front and back,
left and right.

Lie still. Relax.
Inhale.  Exhale.
Inhale     .     Exhale     .
I n h a l e          .          E x h a l e        .
I  n  h  a  l  e          .          E x h a l e          .
I    n    h    a    l    e            .            E   x   h   a   l   e            .

Gradually,
a veil descends onto the battlefield.
It gets heavier and heavier,
drowning the machine guns firing;
pacifying the guerrilla fighters.

The attacks have stopped.
For the time being.

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lossy-page1-800px-Long_Khanh_Province,_Republic_of_Vietnam....SP4_R._Richter,_4th_Battalion,_503rd_Infantry,_17

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Kardo_Rinktine_02. (Kretinga district partisans) (a Lithuanian guerrilla group). Photo (1945-50) by unknown author, uploaded by Julius Kanarskas.
Photo in public domain, via – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kardo_rinktine_02.jpg

After a hand grenade was thrown.
Photo (2008) by POA (Phot) Sean Clee, MOD, UK.
Open Government License v1.0. via – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Royal_Marines_conducting_
FIBUA_training_at_Copehill_Down._MOD_45148950.jpg

Sub-Machine Gun and Rifle with Bayonet. Soviet Guerrilla.1943.
Russian State Archives. A Ukrainian or Ukrainian SSR work, in public domain  via – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Soviet_guerilla.jpg

Machine Gun Firing. Photo by Marcus Rauhenberger.
Public domain photograph from defenseimagery.mil. via – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_U.S._Soldier_
assigned_to_the_2nd_Battalion,_503rd_Infantry_Regiment,_
173rd_Infantry_Brigade_Combat_Team_fires_an_M240B_machine_gun_
during_exercise_Combined_Resolve_2013_at_the_7th_Army_
Joint_Multinational_131115-A-BS310-381.jpg

As if asking, ‘Why?’  Author unknown.
US National Archives and Administration.  ARC ID 531446. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Long_Khanh_Province,_
Republic_of_Vietnam….SP4_R._Richter,_4th_Battalion,_503rd_Infantry,_
173rd_Airborne_Brigade…_-_NARA_-_531446.tif

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19. Neuropathic Pain in my Icy Upper Back and Pin-Cushion Chest

.Freezing_Rain_in_Canada_2013_91

19.1. Icy Rain on Back

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On my back,
an icy cold rain
needles my tight skin, and
penetrates into my nerves.

Sharp, thin ice bladesCalcite-Fluorite-cflo38a
slice deep underneath the scapula,
like repeated plunges of a sharp knife.
Burning blood flows along the spine
down to the lower back.

Invisible, but felt,
intensely,
deep underneath my numb skin.

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19.2   Pin Cushion Chest

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Even leaning my back against
very soft memory foam
on top of the soft cushion
of the wheelchair backrest
is still like lying on a shrapnel-filled mattress.

It brings referred pain onto my chest:
gradually becoming1024px-20070521_Pincushion_Hakea_Flower
a pin cushion overcrowded with
millions of fine needles.

Gentle strokes become raking
millions of needles into my chest.
Movements of my shoulders and arms
drive them deeper;
Coughing sends them into a dance, frantic,
across the chest,
up and down the sternum;
all pricking at hypersensitive nerves,
bringing intense pain.

Sit still. Relax.
Breathe in and out slowly,
till the raking, driving, dancing, pricking subside.
.
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Freezing Rain Needles. Photo by Laslovarga.
CC A-S A 3.0 Unported License, via – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Freezing_Rain_in_Canada_2013_91.JPG

Thin, translucent, bladed calcites with flourite. Photo by Rob Lavinsky / iRocks.com – CC-BY-SA-3.0, CCA-SA 3.0 Unported License, via –
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Calcite-Fluorite-cflo38b.jpg

Flower of Pincushion Hakea Laurina in Bonbeach, Victoria, Australia.
Photo by Ian Fieggen. CC BY-SA 3.0 License, via –
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:20070521_Pincushion_Hakea_Flower.jpg#/
media/File:20070521_Pincushion_Hakea_Flower.jpg
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